SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE

MEMORY CEREMONY

For celebrating a loved friend or partner or family. For peace and friendship.

Suggestions on how to organise:

Assemble with flowers, candles. Set on a table two candles lit, a photo of who you're remembering, and any objects connected with them. For example, their favourite LPs, CDs, videos, favourite food, books, gay club mementoes, gay papers, something connected with their work. Maybe their favourite luxury. Maybe their favourite sexual pursuits. If no personal objects are actually available, then these sorts mentioned here are a substitute.

SOME MORE NOTES: The tone of this is dignified. Fun and celebration comes into the remembrance too. It's great to join in this ceremony before having a dinner together. Then let the fun and the stories and all the memories be celebrated further as a release.

The MEMORY CEREMONY can be used in ways like these:

• Some time after the funeral service, which may have had to be straight, or limited by the family and by religion. So this is to be adapted as a sort of gay funeral.
• On an anniversary. (This is very important.)
• For a family member, even though there has been a family funeral. (This is to help a friend mourn a parent, for example, in their own gay way.)
• When friends have not been able to attend a funeral.
• When someone is coping with grief.

Adapt the ceremony if a friend has died of AIDS-related causes. And if a partner is present.

INTRODUCTION

Sister Celebrant: We meet together with love and memories in our hearts.

We join in celebration of our memories of (NAME).

Knowing that living and loving together means our feelings for (NAME) never die.

Let us first light our candles together.

(All light candles.)

Life is our journey together. (NAME) has reached the end of his journey sooner than us. We may think of him now as part of a great light, or as in a state of serenity or even as looking down on us now. Or something else.

Whatever we think, we are all thinking together of (NAME) now.

Let us have a few moments of quiet to think of (NAME).

(Some moments of quiet.)

(NAME) you are part of us for ever. In the words of this Sisters' ceremony, you are truly a fantabulosa and bona omi.(Or palone if a woman.)

In the words of the Sisters' Good Book, each of us is born from an omi and palone, and we're given a limited contract on this earth.

When we reach the end of our act, we have to leave the stage, however fab a show we put on.

(NAME) - you left your audience clapping and applauding for more.

You're more fantabulosa than us because you've gone on and journeyed ahead of us.

We're going to remember you now with the help of all the mementoes we've gathered on the table.

(Gather round table. Set down candles.)

Now each of you can touch a memento and tell us what it means about (NAME). (Each person present can talk, in turn. Each holds the memento and says why they've chosen it.)

GOODBYE

When we say goodbye to you, (NAME), we hold all these things in our hearts.

You've gone on further than us but we've always got something of you back in our lives.

We'll now join hands together and say goodbye to you.

We'll say goodbye three times.

(Join hands.)

Goodbye, (NAME).

Goodbye, (NAME)

Goodbye, (NAME)

This is part of the serious side of the Nun's work. Feel free to use this ceremony whenever and however you want